Recovering

 Today I want to start talking a little about my recovery process now that you know the base of my story my experience with it. So I have been in therapy for the past 2 years this one of the reasons I started this blog was for therapy the other is I really want to try and help any one who may be in my or a similar situation. One of the hardest things for me during this whole posses is not knowing what the ending may look like Doctors, family, friends, kept telling me that as soon as the swelling in my brain would go down things would be better but that's a hard thing to fallow when I don't know what better is going to be If I work hard enough the end will be I will be able to function the way I did before my head decided to start bleeding for no darn good reason. I really should be pissed at it for treating me this way I've done nothing but learn, read some excellent romance book, watch some great musicals, and syfy . So really my brain is very diversified My brain and I have had loads of safe fun in my life so far. OK so maybe I should not have gone cliff jumping(I'm just glad I never made it to swimming with the sharks3 crazy things could have tipped the scales to far) in Hawaii or bungee jumping in Royal Gorge Colorado But everyone is allowed to do 1 or2 crazy things in there life right and they weren't far out there crazy. But alas I am not mad at my brain mainly because being angry will get me no ware Now I'm not saying that my glass is always half full instead of half empty But I can tell you when its half full i'm going to darn well fill the rest of it up with something positive because well its a lot funner then negative I would rather be laughing then crying any day of the week. I have to say that through this whole recovery process I have turned a lot to my my church my faith no matter how little I have done for it r actually gone to Its always there for me a security blanket of a sort. What ha been going though my head this whole time was something IJ was taught as a child and that is “ God never gives us any challenge that we can't handle” So basically In my mind if I have the big man upstairs backing me up why not do the best I can do everyday He says I can do it so I can why doubt something positive. So my actual physical therapy part of it started basically when I was aware enough The first thing I remember is this women came in to see if I could eat solid food without chocking. So she brought a little short bread cookie to me and I would take a little nibble then wait a min or two, and she was just watching me this was the process until the cookie was gone. I guess I did good, no choking or unnecessary gagging . The next texture of food she gave me was apple sauce and the same processes fallowed. Now I now they fed me the whole time but who wants to survive on liquid food unless it a fabulous fruit smoothie. anyways I'm doing really well with all the food and she deems me good to go but not to eat something to tough or scratchy so no hard crackers or crusty bread sandwiches, she does leave me with another cookie I am feeling quit revenous darn those liquid diets. When I was still lying in bed another therapist would come and tell me these story's that made no since because they were filled with random words then I wold have to remember and repeat. Some one else gave me a stress ball that I would have to squeeze all the time with my stroke y left had. Other wise known as my Nemo arm aka my gimpy fin . Then she would have me throw it into a empty trash can and some sort game of catch started. Then I started throwing the ball at unknowing victims, nurses family members my bosses, no one was excluded. One time my doctor , the surgeon that saved my life walked in. but he had magic hands and quick reflexes and caught the ball before it could hit him, hes the man. I don't recall any one else being so quick with my unknowing fire balls of doom I think I nailed my brother Jason in the head a couple of times and my poor mother. All these kind souls trying to help me and im letting them have it all in the name o therapy of c course. Y'all can't tell me you would not do the same thing given the opportunity and being stuck in the bed for so long. I was to frightenedto use the TV I was worried that the screen and would would hurt my head. I mean come on I had just had my skull sawed open and the only pain medicine they gave me was extra strength Tylenol. So If I thought the TV would make my head hurt Im glad my family went with it. I mean, come on that's not a lot of drugs to be on for what I just went through there was either a single or double douse depending on my pain level. The nurses tried using the 1-10 level of pain but I did not understand numbers, So they moved on to the happy and sad faces. They also gave me a blood thinner shot in my gut every evening. Because I was in bed for so long. The nurses carried them in there pockets so I made them empty there pockets before they came in. really despise needles . So they started caring them on the computers there always rolling around. So they got around the empty pocket thing. Then One day a nurse came in and said they were going to let me try and walk. So they put on my shoes and asked if I could tie them. I said sure! Thinking to my self im pretty sure I learned that at the age of 3. As it turns out that's one of the things my brain took away from me but did no let me know tell I tried. So I ended up tying an unlimited amount of times . My shoes were never coming off in this life time. Everyone had a quick little snicker. And im like, what there on aren't they . They put this bi Santa belt around me in case I would fall. They helped to my feet then over to a walker. And started walking down the halls. It was amazing to be out of bed. Then they pulled me back because I was walking to fast. After I Passed the walking with flying colors. Some one got me every day to walk around. They taught me hoe to do stairs safely , How to pick something up off the floor In and out of a car. I even played dodge ball with a foam ball with some nurses Did I mention that when ever im out of the bed I have to be in a helmet. Being as a piece of my skull is missing So my head is kind of exposed and vulnerable.